


Thinking Of You

by Cosmic_Firestorm



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Dialogue Heavy, Episode Related, Existential Angst, Goodbyes, Grief/Mourning, Major Character Injury, Platonic Life Partners, Psychic Bond, Self-Sacrifice, Short One Shot, Spoilers, Tags Contain Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:17:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmic_Firestorm/pseuds/Cosmic_Firestorm
Summary: “No…Jefferson, no, please—Please!”Gasping, whimpering, the boy met his eyes, locked onto them, emotion pouring through their bond: shock and relief, even a pained pride. “Go on without me! I was thinkin’ of you.”Spoilers for 2x17, "Aruba"





	

_“No…Jefferson, no, please—Please!”_

_Gasping, whimpering, the boy met his eyes, locked onto them, emotion pouring through their bond: shock and relief, even a pained pride. While their connection had never been fully telepathic, Martin could read Jefferson’s thoughts keenly in his face._

_I did it?_

_Why are you just sitting there?_

_Go on without me!_

_I was thinkin’ of you._

_It was over in less than ten seconds, but it felt ages longer; every second Martin relived passed like he was drowning in them. His grief burned hotter than Firestorm ever could and it was so very heavy, leaving him crushed, breathless, seething, too weak to rise and make good on any half-formed justice he might have come up with._

_“Grey!”_

_For a split second, he thought Jefferson’s voice was internal, the last vestige of him slipping away, until strong hands gripped his arm and began pulling him up. Numbly Martin gaped between the pair of them. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t supposed to be this way…_

_“C’mon, Grey,” Jefferson urged hoarsely. “C’mon, c’mon.”_

 

“C’mon, Grey,” Jefferson ventured again, tentatively nudging him. “Talk to me. I know we don’t have much time, given that we—well, broke it or somethin’, but—”

“You likely know what I’m going to say, Jefferson,” Martin stated, clenching his hands so tightly that his joints ached. “He was you and he was real and I _lost_ him. I lost you. I—I know it isn’t practical to think this way, but for a man who has a Time Aberration for a daughter…”

Did Lily still exist now that time had been warped so thoroughly? He didn’t know, but his thoughts wouldn’t even stray to that worry. He felt as if he was hitting a mental roadblock, constantly U-turning to what he had just witnessed. He couldn’t even come up with a better metaphor for that sensation; all he could think of was the life draining from his counterpart, his body going limp one second at a time.

“Don’t even think of tryin’ to take the blame for this one,” Jefferson warned softly, gripping his shoulder. “You’re being too hard on yourself—”

“That’s the thing, Jefferson, I can’t help it. I can’t help but wonder and hate myself, my _other_ self, for not staying by your side. Mr. Rory claimed that I was as good as dead, but that isn’t good enough. How on Earth could he—how could I have ever let you die alone?”

“But he didn’t, Grey, and even if the other Grey had been there, neither one of you could’ve stopped either one of us from doing exactly what he did.” Jefferson seemed to sense that this statement helped precisely nothing. He faltered, considering, and then leaned, gingerly hugging Martin’s stiff, trembling form. The older man automatically reciprocated, clenching his eyes tightly shut.

“Dear boy,” he forced out, making it easier to repeat. “My dear boy…” He couldn’t think of anything beyond that to sum up his blurred thoughts and emotions, so inch by inch he guiltily let himself accept the comfort.

As long as he had a breath left in his body, he would make sure Jefferson did too. He would _never_ watch him die again.

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, these two were rather glossed over in favor of more prominent characters, but Martin witnessing Jax's death was the most poignant part of the episode for me. The fear in his voice as he whispers to him, trying to get him to hold on...Ugh, right in the heart.


End file.
